Thank you for sharing bits of your own story, your own sadness, uncertainties, and also what has brought you happiness. I do believe 'we are all related' (in Lakota, the expression is – Mitaku Oyasin), so I truly feel that I share your path, no matter if you are a cancer survivor or not, as that is not the only 'hat' I wear. Life can be both difficult and beautiful for everyone. I am honored to walk your path and have your trust, even for only a short while with this blog.
I also believe we are here to help each other, so again, if my words and the layers of feelings my words represent have helped you to find peace and beauty in your day or in your world in spite of your challenges and your worries, the beauty you have found along with your peace comes back to me.
I am eager to read more of Mary Oliver's poetry, but I will hold myself back from rushing to the bookstore to buy each of her books. I may buy some, maybe all, eventually, but first I want to wait for each one to come into the library, to read slowly, to savor, to 'taste' each poem and each book separately, rather than become overwhelmed or even 'delightfully stuffed' like I often feel at a buffet of all locally-grown, organic food, all of which has been grown and prepared by friends so each dish absolutely needs a taste and dedicated enjoyment.
While I am waiting for each of Mary Oliver's books to arrive (Thirst is now ready for pick-up), I am reminded of some words I recently read from author-poet Louise Erdrich, whose early writing I stumbled onto and read when I was on chemo the first time in the 80's. I think it is past time to catch up with her books, too. :)
“Life will break you. Nobody can protect you from that, and living alone won't either, for solitude will also break you with its yearning. You have to love. You have to feel. It is the reason you are here on earth. You are here to risk your heart. You are here to be swallowed up. And when it happens that you are broken, or betrayed, or left, or hurt, or death brushes near, let yourself sit by an apple tree and listen to the apples falling all around you in heaps, wasting their sweetness. Tell yourself you tasted as many as you could.”― Louise Erdrich, The Painted Drum
How fortunate we are to be here, even with cancer or other worries, sitting under that apple tree, tasting the sweetness of as much of life that is all around us as we can. :) Thank you again, my friends, for walking this journey together.
Cultivate your life - you are what you grow - inch by inch, row by row,
Diana Dyer, MS, RD